I wonder….

Oblivion is a state I have experienced, but at this point I feel like I’m losing a scene of my self and sense of being. I’m confused almost deluded in this moment. Would I be able to ever recover from this? Would I be able to reach a stage where I connect deeper with myself? Or is this just a state of me being too connected with myself and it causes me to indulge pain at its maximum point where I’m intoxicated with the idea of pain and disorder.

In the end…. I ask myself. What does this mean? Who am I? Who will I become? Am I fulfilled? In this state of mind that is so foreign. I’m perplexed by the enigma life has thrown at me. At what point do I feel satisfied? At what point do I feel like I have fulfilled what I’m here for? I’m disoriented. Confused and in disarray. I want answers, I want closure.

Questions, questions, questions, no solutions.